The TEDx talk by organizational change expert and Eastern philosophy teacher Hector Marcel explores how stopping our own anger and hatred reveals the limitless power we already possess for personal and professional transformation.
“There is a thing that can literally change everything — and you already have that thing inside of you.”
Hector Marcel, TEDx
The Turning Point: Facing an Angry Boss (1995)
In his twenties, Hector opened a business with a “silent” partner who became a screaming, domineering boss. Trapped by immigration issues, financial loss, and nightly verbal abuse, Hector felt “entrapped, broke, and broken.”
Attention: Hector’s life changed when a Buddhist monk offered an experiment: eliminate all anger, hatred, and yelling for six months.
The Three Phases of Hector’s Six-Month Experiment
- Phase 1 — Forgetfulness: Anger erupts; only later does he remember the monk’s advice.
- Phase 2 — Mid-argument Awareness: In the middle of yelling, he suddenly stops, forcing himself into silence.
- Phase 3 — Internal Impulses: He works only with the thoughts that spark anger, reminding himself “the boss is blank of having those qualities.”
An Unforgettable Moment of Silence
One evening, as the boss yelled louder than ever, the world fell silent for Hector. He perceived only shapes and colors. Hatred dissolved into “the most incredible sensation” of compassion and a sincere wish to help the person in pain before him.
“From the very same place where I had felt hatred and anger arise before, I felt compassion.”
After that night, they never yelled at each other again. Within three months, Hector regained control of his life and saw his former enemy as a teacher.
Key Takeaways
- Our reality is shaped by what we think, say, and do.
- Changing our inner response changes external conditions.
- Transformation always works from the inside out; nothing outside can impose it on us.
Attention: “Be the change you want to see in the world” is literal. Everything—relationships, health, career, identity—is open to transformation once we shift our inner state.
Key Moments
How did Hector stop his angry boss?
He ran a strict six-month experiment: every time anger arose, he halted it immediately—no yelling, no hatred—until the impulses themselves subsided.
What were the three phases he experienced?
First, he forgot the rule and remembered only afterward; second, he noticed mid-argument and fell silent; third, he worked solely with inner impulses before any words left his mouth.
What lasting change occurred?
Their relationship transformed completely. Hatred turned into compassion, and they never yelled at each other again.
This article is compiled solely from the official video description and transcript of Hector Marcel’s TEDx talk, without additional interpretations or external information.
