We live in a highly technological age—a time of material values that can, with more or less effort, be acquired through certain resources.
When we plan to have a house, a car, or a diploma, we more or less understand how to obtain them and what price we’ll need to pay (in money, time, or attention). But when it comes to great relationships, almost everyone struggles. Because no matter how reliable a dating method may seem, it won’t guarantee you the perfect partner—or the perfect relationship. Perfect from your point of view, of course. That’s why the world is full of quarrels, divorces, and infidelity.
So, what can we do? Accept this and continue to gamble with fate? Or is there actually a formula that allows us to create the relationship of our dreams?
In the book “Karma of Love”, Geshe Michael Roach shares 100 real-life stories and explains that, thanks to ancient Tibetan wisdom, relationships can be chosen just like the ideal house, dress, or car.
“There are seeds in our mind, karmic seeds. They lie deep within our subconscious, and when the time is right, they sprout—just like seeds of a tree.”
“You can plant the seed for your future partner or change anything you wish in the partner you already have—because everything comes from you… Yes, you can have the partner you’ve always wanted and the relationship you’ve dreamed of—if you learn how to plant the right karmic seeds.”
— Michael Roach, “Karma of Love”
And this is the most important secret to creating anything you want—including a beautiful partnership. All you need to do is plant the right karmic seeds. But what does that mean in practice?
In one story, Geshe Michael advises a friend to find a lonely person and plant seeds of connection. And this always works!
“Look for people who are lonely, and if you look, you will begin to see them everywhere… Offer them your friendship, spend time with them, and support the relationship… the seeds will be planted, and your partner will come. And it doesn’t matter where you go to look for them.”
— Michael Roach, “Karma of Love”
According to the laws of karma, we simply need to give consistent, meaningful companionship to someone who is lonely. But Geshe Michael warns us: dry seeds scattered on pavement won’t grow into a beautiful relationship. To plant them in the right soil, we must feel joy about what we do for that lonely person. This is called coffee meditation—a crucial element in the formula for family happiness!
“Just lying back in your bed at night and thinking about everything you did today to help someone else—this is, without a doubt, the most powerful way to plant seeds.”
— Michael Roach, “Karma of Love”
But how can we create the opportunity to meet that one—the perfect partner? It often feels like Russian roulette—pure luck. In response, the author of “Karma of Love” gives examples and stories revealing another powerful secret. In one chapter, he gives a friend this assignment:
“Make a list, and then plant karmic seeds in your mind for each of the qualities you want him to have. Every single quality will need its own seed, because each one is different from the others.”
“…if you want to be surrounded by intelligent people, you must plant seeds of intelligence.”
“If you want a partner with a good job, then clearly you need to help others find the job they are looking for…”
“…the calmer you remain in upsetting situations, the more cool-headed you are, the more seeds you plant to be beautiful yourself—and to attract a beautiful partner.”
“The karmic seeds of a responsible partner are planted by taking responsibility for everyone around you, always, constantly.”
— Michael Roach, “Karma of Love”
And what about the scary statistics on infidelity? And the common belief that cheating is only a matter of time? No one wants to be betrayed. And here, Geshe Michael, drawing on Tibetan wisdom, offers a deeply effective way to create a faithful partner:
“In the Tibetan tradition, there is a remarkably simple and powerful method to ensure your partner stays faithful. You yourself must be completely faithful—no matter what your current partner is doing.”
— Michael Roach, “Karma of Love”
Now imagine that you’ve done everything right and met the partner of your dreams, someone who embodies all the qualities that are precious to you. You’ve achieved your result.
But how can you make this relationship endlessly happy? Or at least inspiring for this lifetime? How can you keep it beautiful, fresh, and constantly blossoming year after year?
Here, Geshe-la talks about the importance of planting and nurturing seeds for seeing your relationship as divine—as Heaven.
“…we act as if everyone around us is already an enlightened angel, and everything they say or do must serve as guidance on our path.”
“…when we act as if certain moments are magical, this plants seeds for them to truly become magical later on…”
— Michael Roach, “Karma of Love”
So, by using these recommendations from “Karma of Love”, you can begin to craft your own extraordinary love story—and experience heavenly happiness with your beloved for the rest of your life. And yes—it’s real!
